PLEASE NOTE: WE HAVE NO DAY TOURS FOR 2021. NOW TAKING BOOKINGS FOR 2022!
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This scenic journey into Scotland’s most famous and romantic glen features castles, waterfalls and iconic mountain ranges.
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Discover the most famous landscape in Scotland- certainly with the most intriguing geography and history, including spectacular waterfalls and majestic mountains. You'll also see three of the best surviving castles in Scotland, with a chance to explore two of them, plus a kirk that we think is Argyll's answer to Rosslyn Chapel.
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This private tour is available for up to five people, and lasts approximately 7-8 hours. We can adapt the tour to any fitness level, or simply enjoy the scenery from your luxury seat. To visit Kilchurn and Dunstaffnage castles, some walking is required.
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Good Time Granny
She asked me to play sweet Virginia
She asked me more than twice
And if I was to play it just for her
She said she’s gonna treat me nice
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I'd get my kicks if I gave her some licks
This old dog wants to learn new tricks
If I scratched her belly she could shake her leg
She’d even roll over if I make her beg
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CHORUS
Don’t ask me to play that song again
It’s off the set list forever my friend
It reminds me of the time I had my brush
With good time granny who’s a lusty old lush
When she rolled on in and she was already
Drunk as Cooter Brown
She was a country girl done some city miles
The roughest old bird in town
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She saw me playin' she came right up
And asked to drink from her lovin' cup
She said she could be much more than a pal
She wanted to be my little honkytonk gal
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CHORUS
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Getting near to closing time
There was only time for one more
And as I started to play Sweet Virginia
She was crashed out on the floor
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I packed up my stuff as quick as a flash
And out the front door I was making a dash
I never thought at the start of the day
I'd finish this gig by runnin' away
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CHORUS
CHORUS
You're Goin' Down
CHORUS
Down, down, you’re goin' down
You shoulda never shown your face in this part of town
You’re gonna make some sound when you’re hittin' the ground
So get ready clown cos you’re goin' down
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I told you once and I told you twice
If I see you again it ain’t gonna be nice
After all that you tried to take from me
The only thing left is misery you're goin'
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CHORUS
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You drank my whisky when I was gone
And left the bottles all over my lawn
You drank my beer and pissed in the sink
Now I’m real put out so why do you think you’re goin'
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CHORUS
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You ran over my dog in your big ole truck
It wasn’t a case of plain bad luck
Now I've been robbed of man’s best friend
He shouldn’t have met such a sorry end you’re goin'
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CHORUS
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You tried to steal my girl when my back was turned
How many bridges can one man burn?
I’ll put a new meanin' to hittin' the sack
With your cojones kicked halfway up your back you’re goin'
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CHORUS
CHORUS
Goin' Back Home
Better pack your case and catch the first ride
And I’ll be waitin' there on the other side
Say your farewells you got far to go
You're goin' back home, yeah you’re goin' back home
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You better be ready don’t you dare go slow
The journey’s long thousands of miles to go
You’ll be countin' every minute,
every hour that you’ll have flown
But you’re goin' back home yeah you’re goin' back home
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CHORUS
I really miss you darlin' like only you would know
This trip ain’t easy when you’ve got so far to go
But I’ll be there to take you back up the road
You're goin' home, yeah you’re goin' back home
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The summer’s gone autumn brings its chill
The sun sets early the nights crisp and still
Better bring your coat it’ll chill you to the bone
But you're goin' home, yeah you’re goin' back home
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But the home fires are burnin all you need’s right here
All I need is you darlin' have no fear
Don’t take your time cos too much time has gone
Cos you're goin' home, yeah you’re goin' back home
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I really miss you darlin' like only you would know
This trip ain’t easy when you’ve got so far to go
But I’ll be there to take you back up the road
You're goin' home, yeah you’re goin' back home
You're goin' home, yeah you’re goin' back home
Hell's Too Good A Place
Every day that you wake up is one big bad mistake
You were put here on this earth to cause and spread heartache
The dark clouds overhead are as black as your damned soul
Hell’s too good a place for you to go
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Every word you utter is a dirty rotten lie
You act like honesty is the thing you most despise
You have to keep on diggin' just to fill in your last hole
Hell’s too good a place for you to go
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The way that you manipulate is a bona fide disgrace
You’d sacrifice anyone in order to save face
I don’t want to be there when your tragic end unfolds
Hell’s too good a place for you to go
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One look into your heart is a picture of despair
But you force your pain on others cos you think that life’s not fair
But one day your actions will no doubt take their toll
Hell’s too good a place for you to go
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I don’t know what happened to you to make you act this way
But if you keep going like you are it won’t work out ok
Very soon the curtain’s gonna come down on your show
Hell’s too good a place for you to go
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If you’re here listenin' you know just who you are
Let me tell you one day you’re gonna fall down hard
Cos I can see right through you you make my blood run cold
Hell’s too good a place for you to go
Hell’s too good a place for you to go
Willow Tree
I'm gonna kill old Charlie Hayes
This will be his end of days
I'm the man gonna mend his ways
Just you wait and see
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I'll be here at the days last light
In the coming darkness of this night
I'm the one gonna end this fight
Down by the willow tree
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Wait until the sun goes down
I'm gonna send the man hellbound
That's where I'm gonna shoot him down
Till my gun's empty
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I'm gonna make him a real dead man
Gonna hold the gun in my right hand
take him down right where he stands
Down by the willow, down by the willow tree
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I'll hate the man till the seas run dry
He's gonna meet the devil tonight
I won't rest until that man dies
I'm gonna cure the disease
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My hatred now consumes my soul
My heart is made of burnin' coal
Death and vengeance is my goal
Down by the willow tree
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This is the man who took the life
Of my little darlin' wife
Cut her down with an old bush knife
He wouldn't hear her pleas
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Since then I asked heaven above
Why'd he have to take my love
In his fall to hell I'm gonna give him a shove
Down by the willow, down by the willow tree
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Please friend take my advice
I shouldn't need to tell you twice
Payback comes with a heavy price
Hayes will pay the fee
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Charlie's boys will come after me
They ain't gonna leave this be
The shallow grave will soon take three
Down by the willow tree
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I am gonna hang for sure
Then I'm gonna hurt no more
I'll be knockin' on heavens door
The Lord's gonna set me free
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I'm gonna meet my wife again
Together our two souls can mend
Then I'll meet a happy end
Down by the willow, down by the willow tree
Get Outta My Bar
In my line of work well you see all kinds
But it’s the same old faces puttin' me in a bind
As much as I love all the clientele
I wish you’d get the hell out and take your buddies as well
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CHORUS
You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here
It’s plain to see you’ve had quite enough beer
When you hear that refrain picked on the guitar
It’s happy trails that’s a-playin' get outta my bar
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There’s a guy over there just been dumped by his girl
He spies a little cutie thinks he’ll give it a whirl
After lots of Dutch courage he thinks up a line
Well it’s too late buddy cos you ran outta time
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CHORUS
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Two ole buddies over here gettin close to blows
What they’re debatin well god only knows
You better not be thinkin bout startin a fight
You’ll be punchin in the dark when I put out the lights
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CHORUS
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So pack up your troubles and order a cab
You’ve drowned all your sorrows and paid your tab
You’ll get over that girl and make up with your friends
You’ll come back tomorrow do it all again
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CHORUS
CHORUS
Watcha Gonna Do?
Look who’s comin' round to party tonight
They’ll all keep goin' till the broad daylight
The music’s non-stop and the beat goes on
And you’ll never be sure when they’re finally gone
You can toss and turn it’ll do no good
It’s obvious you won’t be in the mood
The more you get anxious it’ll just get worse
You’d do anything to find a cure for your curse
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CHORUS
Watcha gonna do when the lights go out
You’re gonna have another sleepless night no doubt
You look at the prison that you call your bed
You’re about to wake the demons livin' in your head
Watcha gonna do when the lights go out
You’re gonna have another sleepless night no doubt
You look at the prison that you call your bed
You’re about to wake the demons livin' in your head
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You wonder where you went wrong why’s it going this way
And you’ll keep wondering as night turns into day
Soon you’ll need to get up and do it all again
It’s never been this bad since you don’t know when
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Though your patience is tried and demeanour is poor
You still have faith that you’ll find a cure
Something’s out there to fight the disease
You better find it before it brings you to your knees
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CHORUS
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Watcha gonna do when the lights go out
Watcha gonna do Watcha gonna do
Watcha gonna do when the lights go out
Watcha gonna do Watcha gonna do
Watcha gonna do when the lights go out
Watcha gonna do Watcha gonna do
Watcha gonna do when the lights go out
Watcha gonna do Watcha gonna do
Watcha gonna do when the lights go out
Fred's Dead
What’s the deal with poor ole Fred
He’s lyin’ over there I think he’s dead
He’s been drinkin’ Cactus Jack
Now he’s flat out there on his back
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Poor ole Fred I think he’s dead,
Poor ole Fred I think he’s dead
Poor ole Fred I think he’s dead,
Poor ole Fred I think he’s dead
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What’s the deal with poor ole Joe
He looked just fine just an hour ago
He’s been drinkin’ all round town
Now he’s cross eyed and upside down
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Poor ole Joe he’s no mo’,
Poor ole Joe he’s no mo’
Poor ole Joe he’s no mo’,
Poor ole Joe he’s no mo’
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What’s the deal with poor ole Dave
He’s lyin’ down there too late to be saved
He's succumbed to the demon drink
Now he’s just lyin' there makin' a stink
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Poor ole Dave too late to be saved,
Poor ole Dave too late to be saved
Poor ole Dave too late to be saved,
Poor ole Dave too late to be saved
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What’s the deal with poor ole Jed
He’s lyin’ over there beside ole Fred
He’s been drinkin' the same I bet
But there’s still life in the ole dog yet
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Good ole Jed he’s not dead,
Good ole Jed he’s not dead
Good ole Jed he’s not dead,
Good ole Jed he’s not dead
Coming direct to you!
Straight from the Hollow Mountain!